Guy Kewney’s attack on spyware (Can Spyware come in from the cold? April 2005’s issue) sends shivers down the spine.

It is unclear from his article how far spyware goes: whether our emails are read by big business, or read in order to build a profile of us, or whether they are being read and our browser behaviour analysed so that profiles can be used to aim advertising at our soft targets.

What is clear is that it is possible. And that which is possible, is probably being done. I find this depressing. It is also depressing that most of the people Guy asks don’t seem to be bothered.

But most depressing of all is Guy’s assertion that we are all so predictable that the ad army can gun us down with ease.

The straight and level flight of my life is read from these very keystrokes, and puts me on the adman’s radar. Now let’s move this around a bit: this glimpse into the abyss of predictability could be - should be - more character-building than Groundhog Day. Do we want to be sitting ducks for the sporting pleasure of material-mongers?

So this week I’m mostly surfing for holidays in Marbella on behalf of my orchid growing chums. Next week I shall be a vegan motorbike rider seeking silent films that feature sitars. If I shop on the internet it will be for stuffed kites and feather boa constrictors one day and volt-free relays the next.

I will be devious and my profile will make less sense than one painted by Picasso. From now on I am dedicating my life to glorious unpredictability.

Tim Rigley